Pillow Talk
by ilna
Summary: The very important conversation between Vala and Daniel right after “that scene” in Unending.


**Summary: **The very important conversation between Vala and Daniel right after "that scene" in Unending.

**Note: **When I write dialogue I usually have a very specific idea in my head about the way the characters are speaking. So if you see what appear to be errant commas, ellipses, and repeated words – that's why. I've tried to keep it to a minimum, but there were definite places that I wanted to indicate pauses in speech. Please see the note after the text for more thoughts on this if you're interested.

**Spoiler Warning: **Again, this is set during Unending so definite spoilers for that episode.

**Disclaimer:** You all know the characters aren't mine.

_Pillow Talk_

_From the American Heritage Dictionary: Pillow Talk (n.) Intimate conversation between lovers, typically taking place in bed. _

"How long?" Daniel asked as he stroked Vala's hair. She was lying on her stomach, her head pillowed by her arms and her eyes closed, a contented smile on her face.

"Hmm?"

"How long have you," he paused, searching for the right words. She opened her eyes to look at him. "How long have you had feelings for me?" Vala bit her lip, turning her head forward to rest her chin on her hands. She stared at the headboard of the bed as he continued to look at her. There was a long pause as she tried to formulate an answer.

"There's always been . . . something. Since the very beginning. It was lust at first," she said, glancing at him. "I can't exactly say when I felt more. But I knew, even after the Prometheus, that I wanted to see you again." She turned back to look at him finally.

"Hence the tablet."

"Hence the tablet. Oh, don't get me wrong, I wanted my treasure," he laughed, shaking his head. He took her hand, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. "But, though I refused to admit it to myself, there was more to it." She licked her lips, shaking her head as she continued, her voice almost distant. "There was always more." She bit her lip, looking up at him almost reluctantly; as if she wasn't sure she really wanted to ask. "What about you? How did, I mean, what . . . what do you feel for me? That was a pretty big 80." He paused, trying to understand her.

"You mean '180'."

"I do?"

"I think so. You want to know how my . . . my attitude changed so abruptly." She nodded. He sighed, bending over their joined hands and pressing his lips to her fingers as he collected his thoughts before looking at her again. "Like you said, there was always something. Physical attraction. But you were so," he paused and Vala smiled slightly as he closed his eyes, clearly trying to find a tactful description. "Difficult," he said finally.

"Oh, very politic."

"Mm," he agreed with a smile before continuing. "And after the first Supergate, after you were gone, I, I . . ." he sighed. "I thought about you. A lot. I just, I knew that you had survived somehow. And then you were back," he raised his hand and brushed her hair behind her ear. "You were so . . . different, and yet the same. And then it was more than attraction," he shook his head, "but I buried it so deep. I couldn't, _wouldn't_ let myself feel that way. For you, for anyone."

"Because of your wife?" He nodded.

"I was in a bad state, after Sha're. For a long time after. And then you . . ." he sighed and half-smiled, brushing back her hair as he gazed at her. "I think that I was in the middle before I knew I had even begun, and it went against everything I believed, against my better judgment. I always thought it . . ." he sighed again, shaking his head. "I thought it was just a game to you. A way to amuse yourself." She looked down, playing with the edge of the sheet as she spoke haltingly.

"You, you may have noticed that I don't verbally express my feelings well. Or, at all." He touched her cheek to raise her eyes back to his.

"You know you're going to have to start, if this is going to work."

"I haven't . . ." she sighed shakily. "I haven't felt this way about a man in a very long time. Since before Qetesh."

"You really were engaged before she took you?" She nodded.

"After Qetesh, and everything that happened with my people, I shut off that part of me that . . . that felt. It was just easier that way. Easier to survive." She forced a laugh, blinking back tears. "And then you came along and I . . ." she swallowed and sighed heavily, closing her eyes momentarily before speaking again. "I thought that just – how did you say it, 'sleeping together'? I thought that maybe it would be enough, and that it would be better than nothing. I wouldn't have to face anything more serious. And I wouldn't have to worry that you didn't . . . that I thought you didn't think about me, in that way." She looked up at him, pursing her lips, tears in her eyes. "But I'm so, so very grateful that you never . . . that you wouldn't. Because now I know that it would never have been enough," she finished quietly.

Touched by her heartfelt words, Daniel pulled her to his side, shifting to lie on his back and guiding her head to his shoulder. He kissed her brow and sighed. "I guess it really is true what they say," he said, stroking her hair as he looked up at the ceiling. "You can't help who you fall in love with." She raised her head from his shoulder to look at him.

"Daniel?" He smiled at her and shook his head.

"I'm not going bury it anymore." Vala smiled blissfully and closed her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek. Sighing happily she settled back down in his arms, unable to think of anything to say that could adequately describe her feelings.

They remained that way for some time; the room now silent but for the faint hum of engines and the ticking of the wall clock. Vala had nearly drifted off to sleep when Daniel's quiet voice broke through the silence.

"Are we really going to do this?" he asked. He felt her smile against his skin.

"I think we've already started."

"You're not going to get tired of me?" Though his tone was teasing, there was also a plea in his words – as there had been when he'd warned her earlier that she had better not be messing with him. She raised herself up to look at him, her eyes serious.

"Daniel, why do you think I'm still on Earth? Er," she waved a hand, "you know what I mean: with Stargate Command. It certainly isn't for the food, for all that I love that blue jello." He shook his head, not understanding her. She sighed. "In the past, I would have cut and run from the responsibility, the guilt of having brought the Ori to this galaxy and having birthed the Orici. But you . . . you have such an effect on me. I'm not acting as I would have."

"Vala . . ."

"You make me want to be better, Daniel," she said forcefully. She licked her lips and swallowed. "You make me better," she whispered, a tear sliding down her cheek. He reached up and brushed it away, then kissed her tenderly.

"And you make me whole," he whispered back before kissing her again. And having said what needed to be said, both felt the truth in his words. Together, they made each other whole.

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**Ridiculously long author notes:**

**Note: **I was actually quite nervous posting this. Of all the stories I've written, this is the one most intimately connected with an actual scene from Stargate and I hope I did it justice. Any thoughts you have would be appreciated! I particularly struggled once again with the ending. The dialogue has always ended with "And you make me whole," but I struggled with what to write after that to bring it all to a close because it really felt like it needed something more after that line. I probably should finally get myself a beta or two so I have someone else to bounce my thoughts off of. Any takers?

**On the dialogue:** As I said, when I write dialogue I usually have it in my head with very specific tone, intonation, pauses, gestures, etc. So when I first wrote this it looked like I had taken a handful of commas and ellipses and thrown them at the text. Those were the punctuation marks I used to represent pauses and breaks in the dialogue. But then I thought that all of that might take away from your reading of the story if I didn't allow you to imagine for yourself how the words would be spoken. Part of the joy of reading is making the words come alive in your own mind. So I've tried to take out most of my "errant" punctuation, but some is still there – in the places where I really felt it necessary. I think both Daniel and Vala would have a very tough time with this conversation. Words wouldn't necessarily flow smoothly. I think there would be a lot of pausing, repeating, struggling, and searching for the right words. Hopefully it didn't throw or turn anyone off of the story.

**And a confession: **"I think I was in the middle before I even knew I had begun" – unabashed thievery from Jane Austen's _Pride and Prejudice_, though not verbatim. But Darcy's words just seem to fit so perfectly for Daniel that nothing else would do once I saw them in the scene. I leave it up to you all to decide whether Daniel is aware of just who he is quoting. :)


End file.
